Grandparents’ Day is coming up on Sunday September 8th. A day to honour all the wonderful grandparents in our lives, which now includes Gen Xr’s, many of whom are grandparents for the first time on this special day. But are all grandparents, new and old, being celebrated? If not, why not?
As the grandparent of three, and the host of the Go-To Grandma podcast, I have earned and gathered many tips and advice for those who are just entering this wonderful new world. It’s not all just handing out cookies and sneaky five-dollar bills. In fact, while I’ve handed out Mom-approved vegan cookies to my grandkids, the only five dollar bills they’ve had from me are from a toy cash register.
Just as parenting methodologies change with the generations, so does grandparenting. If we want to be GRANDParents, and not BANNEDParents, I’d suggest the following guidelines to help your transition from primary care parent to supportive grandparent.
G – Get off your butt and exercise. Taking care of little kids, especially toddlers, requires you to be able to move quickly, and carry up to 40 pounds at any given time. You might have to pop a squat, leap over Lego or do the parking lot dash. Hit the gym and work on strength, mobility and balance. Your kids will feel more confident leaving you in charge of their fast-moving kids if you can (mostly) keep up with them.
R – Respect the rules of the parents. They get to decide what the kids eat and when, what they can watch and when, and when they go to bed, and how. You’re not the parent and disrespecting their rules may get you banned entirely. If you’re not sure of the rules, ask. If you don’t understand why the rule is the rule…just shut up and grandparent.
A – ABC for grandkid and me. Start reading to them when they’re young and have some special books that you only read at your house. You don’t have to be in front of them to do it. You can Zoom or Facetime reading a book, record your voice to play along, or memorize some fun nursery rhymes to do together over the phone. But please, check with the parents (or the world) to make sure any books you have from your own childhood are still politically correct. Many are not. (Throw out that Curious George, please. And Grimm Fairy Tales are really quite grim.)
N – No means No. The old saying “what happens at grandma’s house…” doesn’t apply anymore. Even if grandma lives in Las Vegas. If you have been told specifically to NOT do something with your grandkids, don’t do it. You really don’t want to have secrets with them coming in between your relationship with your own kids. My grandkids aren’t allowed any screens at all until they are two, and even then, it’s very limited. So I don’t do it, even though they might not be old enough to tattle on me. Follow the family rules at your house as well, and please don’t say “Grandma would let you.” Chances are, you were stricter on certain things with your own kids as well.
D – Do it. Don’t ask, just do. There’s always laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, lawn mowing, garbage taking, etc. Don’t say “what would you like me to do now”? Just look around and do it. No one ever got into trouble for clearing a table or vacuuming a rug or ordering in food. Spend some time in their house and learn where their stress points are (maybe it’s cooking, maybe it’s cleaning, maybe it’s organizing) and help out where they really appreciate it.
There is one letter missing, but I couldn’t fit “F” into the word grand.
That’s right. It’s FUN. Don’t forget to make fun and have fun with your grandkids. Parent approved, of course.
Happy Grandparents’ Day!
