In Journey to the Darkside: SuperMom Goes Home, Buckworth outlines dozens of strategies for keeping your cool when your coolness has long since eroded. This outrageously hysterical instruction manual for abandoning the office in lieu of full-time parenting follows up the popular Secret Life of SuperMom and SuperMom: a Celebration of All You Do.

Finding meaning in mayhem
Buckworth knows from experience that there is nothing more meaningful than raising (to quote Scarlett O’Hara) a passel of brats. Here she gives detailed instructions on finding that meaning under piles of holey socks and empty pizza-pocket boxes.

Now when the telephone jingles, it won’t be for you. No more frantic fumblings lurching into pantyhose while hopping onto the bus. Oh, and no more lunch breaks. With the same comic easy manner that Buckworth explained the juggling act of Firm and Family, she helps you transition out of minute-meetings and dry-cleaner stops and into your kitchen and living room with no way out except to ferry the kids to endless orthodontics appointments.

SuperMom by any other name
“Domestic Diva” is a catchy sounding title, but Buckworth warns that job descriptions like this one “don’t even begin to describe both the responsibility and the tedium of the job mandate.” She suggests a bevy of more precise titles, from “Bodily Waste Control and Clean-Up Manager” to “Vice President of Budgeting, Splurging, and Justification.”

Chock full of helpful, cheery how-tos like the “To Do List from Hell” and “Interesting Conversation–an Autopsy (of sorts),” Buckworth reveals the lighter side of heavy duties.

There’s plenty of moral support: “For the most part, your days will be totally bereft of anything interesting.” You won’t be alarmed when the hot topic of your workday is endless gossip “about the personal lives of the children’s swimming instructors.” You’ll effortlessly avoid oxymorons like “family vacations” and skip the “Gap mom” or “aging hippie” wardrobe in favour of clean tracksuits. And with no commuting to the job, there will be plenty of time after dirty diapers and body piercing arguments to feel like sex.

This rollicking adventure through laundry piles, geometry sets, hockey practice and spilled chocolate milk is something that every SuperMom-come-home should keep handy. Your copy should be accessible for every emergency and the stylish pink and yellow cover will look resplendent next to the fruit bowl containing the browning bananas—on hand for those 24 hours of the day that you’ll feel you’re going bananas.

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Heading out this summer for a long awaited family road trip? I’ve got tips to keep you and your kids (of all ages) happy. Pick up the Saturday @TorontoStar or read it online. Thanks to @juliecole & @alysonschafer for their expert tips!

I’m an ER physician and having worked on the frontline of this pandemic in Toronto I’ve seen the terrible effects of COVID firsthand. You better believe when their turn comes my kids will be vaccinated.
Now I just need to have kids.

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